Monday, October 18, 2010

Omegle Beaver--Take 2 (This guy isn't as smart...)

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: You see a giant beaver in the distance lumbering towards you, a menacing glare on its face. You are armed with duct tape, a balloon, a spare set of shoes, and nailclippers. What do you do?
Stranger: Shit myself
Stranger: Then
Stranger: Probably
Stranger: Run like hell
You: The beaver chases after you
Stranger: That bastard
Stranger: Keep running
You: The beaver is gaining
Stranger: Maybe change into them spare shoes if I get ahead enough
Stranger: Oh no
Stranger: A giant beaver?
Stranger: How big we talkin here?
You: The beaver is giant
Stranger: giant isnt really
Stranger: quantifiable
Stranger: okay
Stranger: i'd come up with some cunning plan
You: Realitive to a compact car
Stranger: that involves distracting it with popping the balloon
Stranger: withthe nail clipper
Stranger: s
You: The beaver retracts for a moment then carries onward
You: There is a small clearing up ahead
Stranger: Run that way..
You: There is a cottage in the clearing
Stranger: Run over that way
You: The cottage door creaks open, there is a pile of dust covered items and a piece of what looks like paper
Stranger: Throw a shoe at the beaver and run in and shut the door before it gets in
Stranger: Examine the dust covered items what are thye
You: The duct tape and nail clippers are still with you
You: There is a rope, a lighter and parachute under the dust and the paper is hard to read in the darkness of the cottage
Stranger: then
You: The beaver starts gnawing at the door
You: The door is starting to give away
Stranger: Loo k around
Stranger: for somewhere I can hide
You: You see a boarded up window and a crowbar next to it
Stranger: and take the lighter with me and the rope
You: You can take all the items
Stranger: can i
Stranger: Okay
Stranger: Can i carry them all
You: Yes
Stranger: do i have a backpack
You: Yes
Stranger: Oh good
Stranger: Next
Stranger: take the crowbar then
Stranger: Hide somewhere in cottage
Stranger: there's gotta be some hiding place
You: There is nothing but a boarded up window
You: The door gives away and the beaver stand in the doorway
You: It starts toward you, about to strike
Stranger: Nooooooo
Stranger: Smash the window
Stranger: Jump out
Stranger: Run like hell some more
You: Unboard it with the crowbar? (Yn)
Stranger: Y
You: The window had glass, you are now cut and covered with blood
You: The beaver is now searching the cottage frantically
You: There is a river to the east, its deep but narrow
You: The beaver smells your blood and starts back on your trail
Stranger: Oh no
Stranger: I'm a goner
Stranger: Say my prayers and lie down
Stranger: close eyes
Stranger: shit self once again
You: The beaver approaches the clearing where you lay
Stranger: play dead!!!
You: He sniffs around and sees nothing of interest and decides to retrace his steps, he's gone for the moment but he'll be back soon
You: There is a river to the west, which drops off at a waterfall to the south
Stranger: head... west
You: The river is next to you, you see an old worn bridge ahead and even further the cliff where the waterfall drops off
You: You have the parachute, duct tape, nailclippers, lighter and rope
Stranger: So jump off it with the parachute
You: The river is not in front of you, run to the cliff and jump off? (Y/N)
Stranger: see what is below first
You: Below you is a small body of water and trees from the forest
You: The beaver is heard from behind you
Stranger: parachute into trees
You: As you jump off you hear the cry of the beaver from above, you start to soar over the tree tops after pulling the chute, then it fails and you crash into a giant tree and slide down to ground level, you're bruised and bleeding but still alive
You: The beaver starts to go the long way around the cliff, down the hills
You: Around you there is dense forest and a small break in the cliff can be spotted under the waterfall
Stranger: Crap
Stranger: Item inventory please
You: Lighter, duct tape, nail clippers, rope and mysterious paper (from cottage)
Stranger: read paper
You: The paper turns out to be a map of the island, a black X is marked just North of your current location
You: Around you there is dense forest and a small break in the cliff can be spotted under the waterfall which appears only as a black shape behind the water, the beaver is getting closer, you can hear him snorting, hunting for you
Stranger: handy
You: The beaver is getting closer, you see him struggling through the trees, headed straight for you
Stranger: Head the
Stranger: re
You: Could you restate?
You: The beaver turns and faces you, one on one
You: He starts to close in, grunting loudly and showing his teeth, ready for a meal
Stranger: I meant
Stranger: head there
You: Toward the black shape or the X?
Stranger: x
You: Upon heading toward the black X you realize the cliff is in your way, between you and the x
You: The waterfall is to the left and the beaver is cornering you
Stranger: what items
You: Lighter, duct tape, nail clippers, rope and mysterious paper (from cottage)
You: Around you there is dense forest and a small break in the cliff can be spotted under the waterfall which appears only as a black shape behind the water, the beaver is getting closer, you can hear him snorting, hunting for you
Stranger: go there
You: Luckily, it stumbles on a fallen tree
You: Where?
Stranger: the small break
Stranger: in the cliff
You: Behind the waterfall is a cave, it is probably on the map but you can't see
Stranger: there?
You: You are in a cave, it is dark
You: You have Lighter, duct tape, nail clippers, rope and map
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Note: I was trying pretty hard to hint, this guy/girl wasn't very good

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Omegle Beaver--Take 1

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: You see a beaver in the distance lumbering towards you, a menacing glare on its face. You are armed with duct tape, a balloon, a spare set of shoes, and nailclippers. What do you do?
Stranger: inflate baloonPublish Post
You: The balloon is now inflate
You: *inflated
You: The beaver approaches fast
You: But it appears to have a broken foot
You: so it is slowed somewhat
Stranger: well then
Stranger: /pop baloon with nailclippers and hope it scares the shit out of it
You: The beaver retreats momentarily then continues chasing you
You: Only the duct tape, nail-clippers and shoes are with you
Stranger: /run like hell
You: The beaver chases you and is faster
You: You see a cottage to the east
Stranger: /approach and knock
You: The door creaks open, you see a pile of dust covered items and a piece of paper
You: The door closes behind you
You: You hear the beaver start gnawing at the door
Stranger: /duct tape the door shut
You: The duct tape over the door works but it appears it will only hold for a little bit longer
Stranger: /inspect items
You: You discover a lighter, rope and some cheese cake
You: The paper remains on the floor
You: You have the nail clippers and spare shoes with you
Stranger: /take everything
Stranger: ok
Stranger: so
You: You have everything, including the paper
Stranger: I leave the cake on the table
Stranger: and quietly sneak out the window
You: You exit quitely and the beaver is distracted by the cake
You: However, the beaver has a keen sense of smell and soon finds your trail
You: You approach a river
Stranger: no, wait
You: You have nail clippers, shoes, lighter and rope
Stranger: while it's distracted I use the rope to bar the exits
You: and crowbar
Stranger: and then light up the house
You: Sorry, no time machines
You: You approach the river
Stranger: well I meant that all along
You: Ok, the beaver is engulfed in flames, but continues to chase after you
You: The river to the north is narrow but deep
Stranger: go south
You: Examine paper? (Y/N)
You: To the south there is a cliff
Stranger: the beaver will go north to extinguish itself and I'll get away
You: The beaver goes into the water, and swims down stream, to where you are nnow
You: *now
You: Beavers are avid swimmers
Stranger: damn
Stranger: you didn't say about the river
You: My apologies
You: If you had examined the paper you'd have a map
Stranger: I climb the cliff to a point where it can't reach me
Stranger: then examine the map
You: The map reveals the layout of the island, you see an X marked to the west of you, south of the cabin
You: The beaver claws at the cliff side and slowly starts toward the cave where you sit
Stranger: /throw a shoe at it
You: Roll to determine outcome? (Y/N)
Stranger: ok
You: Best outcome (10) - Worst outcome (1)
You: You roll a 9
Stranger: woo
You: The shoe hits the beaver which falls off the cliff, its injured
You: It starts to get up slowly, very slowly
Stranger: check the map to see if the cave leads anywhere
You: The cave leads to the other side of the mountain, however your map is hard to read in the dark
Stranger: use lighter
You: You illuminate the cave and the map
You: You see a bright light in the distance
Stranger: head west, down the cave
You: The roar of the beaver echoes through the cave
You: You emerge from the other side of the cave, the X lies down a hill
Stranger: head towards it
You: A shovel trips you as you approach the X
Stranger: perfect
You: Once again, you hear the cry of the beast
Stranger: /taek shovel and start digging
You: The X is within sight
You: You hit something solid
Stranger: burry it out and expect it
Stranger: inspect*
You: It is a trigger
You: Press trigger? (Y/N)
Stranger: trigger attached to?
You: The trigger is attached to nothing
Stranger: woah
Stranger: trippy
You: No indication of its purpose is provided
Stranger: /point at beaver and pull trigger
You: You hear a helicopter in the background, it grows louder, as does the beaver
You: The helicopter drops a care package and flies away
Stranger: /open package
You: Package contains flash bang grenades, iced tea and a pistol with one bullet
Stranger: /sip tea until the beaver is in sight
You: The beaver approaches from the east
You: The iced tea is half-full
You: Or half-empy
You: The beaver is in sight
Stranger: /throw grenade at beaver
You: Behind some trees
Stranger: then, as it's vision is limited, shoot it
You: A flash illuminates the scene and blinds you, the beaver's eyes are sheilded by the tree leaves
Stranger: impaired*
You: You fire the gun
Stranger: no I don't
You: Nevermind
You: The gun remains with you
Stranger: I run west
You: You start to regain your vision
You: The beaver runs through the trees, chasing after you
Stranger: /get our of the wood
You: There is a clearing up ahead
Stranger: oh wait
Stranger: do I still have my lighter?
You: Yes
Stranger: then set fire to the trees, then use the smoke to get away
You: The smoke irritates its eyes, and slows it for a moment
You: The beaver uses its tail to blow away the smoke
Stranger: am I out of the forest yet?
You: You see an abandoned car in the clearing
You: You are at the edge of the trees
Stranger: /approach car and look inside
You: The truck contains a battery, a copy of Hot Tub Time Machine, two candy apples and a deer head
You: The beaver is emerging from the forest
Stranger: what about keys?
You: There are keys, but it appears it hasn't run in quite some time
Stranger: /hide behind the car
You: The beaver enters the middle of the field and looks around in confusion
You: You notice a shiny object in the bed of the truck
You: The object is under a blanket
Stranger: throw a flash grenade at the beaver, close my eyes and then shoot it while it's blinded
You: Roll to determine outcome? (Y/N)
Stranger: sure
You: Best outcome (10) - Worst outcome (1)
You: You roll a five
You: You shot the beaver in its leg
You: it now moves very slow
Stranger: problem solved
You: Examine shiny object? (Y/N)
Stranger: yep
You: You find a minigun, fully loaded
Stranger: neat
Stranger: /take minigun
You: The beaver rolls toward you
You: Finish Him!
Stranger: /shoot it with the minigun
You: The beaver dies. The shots from the minigun are heard by a search party and a team soon finds you, you are evacuated by helicopter. Although the beavers body cannot be found, you will live the rest of your life haunted by his memory. The sun sets as the helicopter flies over the Atlantic, taking you to safety.
Stranger: awesome
You: My favorite part was where you drink the iced tea
Stranger: leave no item unused
You: Then pop in that copy of Hot Tub Time Machine and lets get this party started
Stranger: haha
Stranger: yep
You: Sooo....without giant beavers...everything else seems kinda boring...
You: You return to the island, the beaver chases you and pins you to a rock, as he begins you tear your flesh your alarm goes off
Stranger: kind of a cop-out ending
You: how? the minigun?
Stranger: no, the "it was all a dream" trick
You: oh, no not the whole thing, just that line
You: If the whole thing was a dream that would be LAME
Stranger: my favourite part was how I'm running from a freaking beaver the whole time
You: Haha it was a giant beaver
Stranger: was it? lol
You: Maybe I didn't mention it but yea, it was giant
You: It took me a pretty long time to find someone who would go along with it, everyone else just disconnected
Stranger: yeah, everyone here seems to be only interested in your asl for some reason
You: Yea, they're pretty lame and should get mauled by a giant beaver
Stranger: absolutely
You: Ok well I'm about to go to bed, all this beaver running has gotten me tired. I would like to say I'll talk to you again, but statistics says I probably won't.
Stranger: not unless you have MSN or something
Stranger: but yeah, I was just about to do the same
You: I do not...
Stranger: damn
Stranger: me neither, sadly
You: AOL? Or is that too '90's?
Stranger: was planning on making an ID soon
Stranger: sorry, no
You: Ha ha
You: Wait a sec
You: MSN=Windows Live Messenger??
You: I have Windows Live Messenger
Stranger: cool
... ...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.